Most of us got our curls from our mamas. Some of us are mamas that have passed on curls to our little ones. Maybe you have stepped in to be a mama to a curl. Whatever kind of curly mama you are, this love letter is to you.

Almost all curlies have that defining moment when we choose – or were forced to choose – to decide our curls are unpretty.

I felt completely crushed and embarrassed. I knew she was talking specifically about my hair. It just looked… poofy, frizz springing out of every curl. Almost all curlies have that defining moment when we choose – or were forced to choose – to decide our curls are unpretty, unruly, crazy, out of control, less-than, had a mind of their own… the list goes on. For me, this was that moment. From that day forward I spent the entirety of my childhood using clippers to buzz my little curls off. For about five years I even shaved my head entirely bald. Anything to get rid of my “ugly” hair…

We want to begin this post by addressing something important: we are two white women writing this blog. This is not our history and these are not our stories. We are not here to take space, but rather, to shine light on the discrimination that has relentlessly afflicted and harmed BIPOC communities. While we can – to an extent – relate and empathize with the experience of having curly hair, we will never truly be able to comprehend or feel the oppression that people of color with curly hair have.

Curlfriends, we’re sorry. We’re so sorry. We’re your hairstylists, your confidants, your beauty mentors, your friends. We know you. You’ve sat in our chairs throughout your life. You see us in winter, spring, summer, and fall, in the sunshine, snowstorms, and everything in between (#MAINE). You’ve trusted us during your highs: curl-discoveries, curl journeys, new relationships, enduring relationships, curl-friendships, engagements, newfound independence, pregnancies, weddings, promotions, career-changes, relocations, vacations, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, confidence building, milestones, and achievements. You’ve sought us out in life’s many hardships, and we’ve been honored to walk alongside you through various challenges. We know how you like your coffee. We can part your hair perfectly. We’ve scrubbed your scalp. And we must admit, though never intentionally, we’ve lied to you. We’ve misled you. We’ve brought you down a path that was not the best for you or your curls.